It was 1919. I knew this, because my owner bought newspapers, and read them to me from the head of the table. His Hearth was weak. He did not care much for his home, and he brought many people into it, none of them for very long. His heart did not burn. It was cold and chilled the house around him. But nonetheless, he was my owner, and I cared deeply for him. He was a tall man, and not very well-dressed. He tended to favor very silly looking turbans. I was merely an apartment, and not particularly skilled in the ways of human fashion, but even I could tell that they were ridiculous.
Chapter 7: Horace Warming
My eyes opened sharply, heart pounding as I woke out of the nightmare. It had featured rats heavily. It was another early Friday morning, the sky not even gray outside yet. Betty was lying next to me, in her cat form. I had soothed her with praise and apologies for half an hour the night before, with limited success. I shifted as carefully as I could, and miraculously, did not wake her. I tiptoed through the bedroom, into the living room. I had two and a half hours before I would have to shower and prepare for work , and I intended to make good use of that time.
Chapter 6: Horace Throat
I woke up, and Queen Betty wasn’t beside me. This wasn’t entirely unusual, as she was probably enjoying hunting rats at the moment. I yawned softly, and stretched out on the bed. I opened my eyes, and nearly screamed. Betty was crouched over me, in such a way that she wasn’t quite touching. Her green eyes were bright and shining, and way too close. She was breathing so softly that I hadn’t even felt it against my skin. “Oh, good! You’re awake, Horace!” She smiled sweetly. “Breakfast time!” I peered sideways. The clock read 5:30 AM. I considered protesting, and thought better of it.
Chapter 5: Daned if you Do
I sat at the computer, looking down at my badge. Sergeant Dane Larson. I’d been so proud when I’d made sergeant. Just like Dad had always dreamed. He’d been there at the ceremony. He’d died a few years later, in the line of duty. Then my hand strayed down to my stomach. The cuts were long-healed, but I still winced when I touched them. A phantom of the pain that had ripped through me when that creature had gutted me like a fish. I swore I’d never let something like that happen to one of the officers under my command. Not when I could still do something about it.
Chapter 4: Horace Whisperer
I stood in the entrance to the police station, holding the tape in my hand, and feeling slightly foolish. When I had seen the video of the dark creatures splattering on the ground, I had been certain that it was important. But I was slowly realizing, I didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t have any contacts in the media, and the idea of going up to the local TV news station and presenting it as some kind of evidence struck me as a wonderful idea for a prank, but a very bad way to try to get information into the hands of the people who needed it. I had no credibility, and no one to show the information to. So, after a week, I had decided to settle for vindication. But standing here in the busy lobby, I wasn’t sure how to find who I was looking for. I settled for standing with a lost and confused look on my face. That’s when she approached me, and in a tone with absolutely no good humor in it at all, said “Hello, sweet-cheeks.”
Chapter 3: Beating a Dead Horace
I packed up my work at the office. Another long, dull day of copying, calling, and filling out forms. I had spent the day thinking about Queen Betty, and her odd warnings. She’d disappeared without a trace that morning, and I’d been worried and distracted at work, drawing my uncle’s ire. Even seeing her at lunch hadn’t helped. She was up to something dangerous, I knew, and though I’d only been taking care of her for a few days, she was still special to me. Maybe I was just afraid that she would disappear, like so many other things I’d cared about through the years.
Chapter 2: Wrong Side of the Betty
I am Queen Betty. I have had many names, and when I was born, I didn’t have a name at all. I was the First Cat. And like all things First and all things Cat, I am the best. I started my day by indulging in a nap next to the human, Horace Creed. His body heat and his presence were pleasant, soothing away the aches in my old, arthritic bones. The steady rise and fall of his chest helped me to relax. It was the first time in a week I’d been able to calm down. The world was ending. I had been feeling it ever since the end of the summer. I didn’t know what had provoked the oncoming cataclysm. It didn’t matter. It only mattered that the time had come for me to be a guardian once more.
Chapter 1: Horace Guest
The door shattered, and a nightmare stood in the frame. I was in the copy room, working late into the night to print, collate, organize, and file all of the countless pieces of evidence the senior partner said absolutely had to be ready by tomorrow morning. I had been staring down at my phone while the ancient printer whirred and chugged in a losing battle against mechanical failure. There had been a soft, wet squelching noise, and a smell like motor oil. I’d dismissed it as either a sign the copier machine was in even worse shape than it looked, or I was about to have a stroke. I didn’t care either way. That’s when the wooden door separating me from the rest of the deserted office ripped messily in half. A large chunk of wood struck me in the head, knocking me to the ground.
Small Folks Court
One of the things I learned in Law School: Clients will never tell you the whole truth. People want you to like them. It’s just in their nature. This gets worse when they’re in legal trouble. They’re secretly afraid that their lawyer will judge them, and decide to turn on them, if they knew what was really happening. Lawyers have done some very unpleasant things, all to make sure they never appear to be working against their clients. There are men in jail unjustly today because a lawyer didn’t betray his client. And despite all of this, clients lie to their lawyers. I studied the short, red-haired man with large, bushy eyebrows, sitting across from me. “So. When were you going to tell me you’re a fairy?”
Hell’s Kitchen Sink Q&A
Q: Are we going to get more of Silas Nash? – Hazzard, and numerous others.
Yes. Nash is probably not going to be the protagonist of the future stories, although he’ll be a major viewpoint character of the future Serpent in Zion stories. To a certain degree, I’m inspired by the old Marvel levels- That is, there are three levels of heroes: Street, World, and Cosmic. Nash has been, suddenly and unexpectedly, thrust into the Cosmic level of the setting, set against one of the most powerful and merciless forces for the destruction of the world that exists, aiming to snuff out humanity entirely. He has also become a symbol for what a human being is capable of. I’d very much like to have him show up in some of the other storylines I’ve got floating around in my head at some point, because a recurring theme of this setting is going to be mundane human protagonists.
Q: Also, have you thought about going back over this, and submitting it to a publisher? It’s really damn good. – Hazzard
I have. And ultimately, my posting it on Tumblr and WordPress is my way of saying ‘I’m not going to try to publish this traditionally.’ Most publishers don’t want to republish something that’s already been put up. I’ve had some modest success posting this- A few thousand views- which is enough to make me feel positive about it, but I’d need to have ridiculous, unprecedented success to make a real publishing company or agent interested in it. I’m a bit depressive about the whole prospect of getting something published.
Q: Will we see more of Pearl and her sisters? -van den Berg
Absolutely. They’re one of the major features of the cosmology of the setting, although they may take other forms than the ones they’ve had here, which are primarily Greek-inspired.
Q: Is Cassandra the new MC?- A Real Big Guy
No, although she will be the MC of a future story. She’s taken her first step towards being a hero, which is to decide that she’s going to do something about the way the world is going.
Q: Is Silas going to quit the FBI? -Anon
Yes. I’ve got plans for a short story to write at some point in about 6 months, that will be leading in to the sequel to A Serpent in Zion, which will show some of the things that happen between books. Silas will not be a member of the FBI when he returns.
hellskitchensink 